7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Pillar 1: Try for Someone You Love

Part of the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery series

7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Pillar 1

The 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery are not something I found in a book or borrowed from someone else’s healing path.
They were forged through lived experience — scraped together during some of the darkest, most disorienting years of my life.

This first pillar — Try for Someone You Love — was the foundation that allowed all the others to eventually take root.

When You Can’t Try for Yourself

Early on, I did not care for myself enough to get better.
I didn’t even care enough to try.

At the time, I had so many things stacked against me, it seemed impossible that I could ever fully recover.

What I was up against – visual showing multiple concussions, childhood sexual abuse, addiction, chronic back pain, sleep disturbances, extreme fatigue, zero focus, and no motivation as part of the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Pillar 1: Try for Someone You Love – Release My Potential

Along with everything above, I was also struggling with a complete loss of trust — in myself and in others.

I couldn’t see a way out.
And I cared so little for myself that I couldn’t even start.

But I did care about other people.
And in the early stages of my recovery, this became my lifeline.

From Survival to Self-Worth

I tried for the people I loved — and eventually, over time, I began to see parts of myself that I liked again.

Pieces I thought were lost forever:
My humor. My wit. My confidence. My zest for life.

That’s when something shifted.

For the first time, I wasn’t doing it for others.
I was doing it for me.

And in that moment, my recovery became personal — a critical phase in the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery.

The Switch That Changed Everything

Once I began to see my own self-worth again, the entire recovery process changed.

I noticed that making unhealthy choices hurt. It felt like I was betraying myself.
And choosing what supported my healing — even when it was hard — became the easier, more natural option.

This pillar helped me continue trying on days when I had no energy to do so.

What trying looked like – illustration showing exhaustion, pain, and persistence during recovery: sleepless nights, physical therapy, reading with visual aids, chronic pain, and driving to medical appointments despite fear – 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Pillar 1: Try for Someone You Love – Release My Potential

After everything I was up against, trying didn’t look glamorous — it looked like survival.
Every step, every appointment, every exhausted attempt to keep going was its own act of love.

This pillar — Try for Someone You Love — is why the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery had a place to begin.

If you’d like to learn more about some of the challenges I faced along the way, you can read about night terrors and sleep paralysis — two experiences that made getting a good night’s sleep feel impossible.

Recovery Became My Mission

Eventually, I made a promise to myself:

“I will turn recovery into my career.”

From that point forward, every bit of progress wasn’t just for me.
It was fuel for my future — for the people I would one day help.

When you can tie your recovery to something greater than your present pain,
you unlock one of the most powerful tools in the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery:
purpose.

What This Pillar Can Do For You

Incentivizing yourself is a powerful form of self-discipline — and a deeply effective way to move through trauma when willpower alone isn’t enough.

If you’re reading this and struggling to care about yourself, that’s okay.

Try for Someone You Love.
Let that love carry you forward until you begin to see the you that still exists underneath the pain.

Because eventually… you will see your worth again.

🧭 Recovery is never easy and requires a lot of hard work.

Having a strategy that sets you up for success is a must.
That’s exactly what I’m giving you: a blueprint built from trial, error, setbacks, and breakthroughs.

Try for Someone You Love is the first — and perhaps most essential — pillar in the
7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery.

Use it as your entry point when the path forward feels too heavy to walk alone.

🔁 This article is part of the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery:

Explore the 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Next Pillar →

📘 Recommended Reads:

In the beginning, healing can feel impossible — especially when you don’t yet have the strength to try for yourself. That’s why The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk pairs so powerfully with Pillar 1: Try for Someone You Love.

This book reveals how trauma changes the brain and body, often leaving you feeling disconnected from your own will to live, move, or hope. But it also shows how love, safety, and connection can begin to reawaken those parts of you that went numb. It’s proof that trying for someone you love isn’t weakness — it’s biology. Connection is what begins to bring your system back online.

Read The Body Keeps the Score alongside this pillar to better understand what your body is really asking for: safety, compassion, and time. Let it help you see that even when self-love feels out of reach, love for someone else can be the bridge that leads you there.

Get your copy of The Body Keeps the Score and let it walk beside you as you try for someone you love — until the day you can finally try for yourself.

✨ Your Next Steps: The 7 Day Resilience Reset

If you’re ready to take what you’ve learned even further, start building your resilience from the inside out.

👉 Download your FREE copy of my 7 Day Resilience Reset — a guided series of daily practices to help you release old patterns, rebuild confidence, and reconnect with your true self.

Your healing doesn’t have to wait. Begin today and feel the shift toward freedom, expression, and emotional balance.

📝 You Have Just Read:

7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery Pillar 1 | Try For Someone You Love
This article is part of my 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery series.
Each pillar shares a powerful lesson I learned during my own healing journey.

Pillar 1 focused on how caring for others can be the spark that ignites your own healing — even when you don’t yet believe you’re worth the effort.

💡 Want the full overview? Click any link that says 7 Pillars of Trauma Recovery to explore how these lessons fit together and build your recovery foundation.

Moving Forward

Trying for someone you love gives you the reason to begin — but finding purpose in your recovery gives you the strength to continue. Once you’ve taken those first steps out of survival, the next challenge is learning how to stay consistent when motivation fades and the path feels endless.

That’s where Pillar 2 comes in. Make Recovery Your Career helps you transform your healing into something steady, structured, and sustainable. It teaches you how to treat your recovery like the most important job of your life — one that deserves your focus, dedication, and care.

You’ve already proven you can show up out of love. Now it’s time to show up with purpose — and start turning that love into a life built on strength, discipline, and hope.